15 People Admit The Strangest Things They've Done When Their Brain Was on Autopilot

We've all been there. Lost in deep thought pondering over our life problems and just absently going about our day. All of a sudden you do something absurd and your brain snaps off autopilot in horror, leaving you standing there bewildered at whatever bizarre thing you've just done. 

Bonus points if you're in public and immediately start searching around frantically to make sure that nobody witnessed your mistake.

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  • 01
    Text - [-] marleylovestrees 1465 points 9 months ago When I was around 13 or 14 I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room, and thought to myself: I need to go home before my parents realize I'm not home. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I had been in my own room and just thought what the hell am I doing. So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird
    via Ask Reddit
  • 02
    Vehicle - [] ungulate I once got my car impounded via brain- autopilot. 4598 points 9 months ago I lived across the street from a gas station and didn't drive very often. Once I was filling it up, went inside to buy something, forgot I was getting gas, and walked home A few days later I reported my car stolen since I couldn't find it in the apartment garage. About a month later I get a call from the police, saying my car had gone up for auction and only then was it discovered it had been reporte
    via Ask Reddit
  • 03
    Text - (-] slayer9019 months ago) I dropped my pants when going through TSA....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane... 24.9k points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 US Airways First Class Check-In TSA Pre Enter Here! was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt
    via Ask Reddit
  • 04
    Asphalt - [-] Derped_my_pants11.6k points 9 months ago Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed I high-fived him Turns out he was hailing a taxi.
    via Ask Reddit
  • 05
    Face - [-] MisterEvilBrea kfast 12.4k points 9 months ago Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "Fuck, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.
    via Ask Reddit
  • 06
    Face - - popcornpause 2308 points 9 months ago Swished my mouthwash for a solid 30 seconds and then just spit it on the floor where I was standing.
    via Ask Reddit
  • 07
    Transport - -] FecesInYourFaces 17.7k points 9 months ago I took the metro home then realized i drove to work.. that was a long night
    via Ask Reddit
  • 08
    Hair - [- [deleted] 2013 points 9 months ago Vigorously picking my nose while holding a cigarette and driving; crammed lit cigarette up my nose.
    via Ask Reddit
  • 09
    Food - Sonicman1223 2145 points 9 months ago The night before my very first day at work where I have to bring my own lunch. I got all the ingredients out to make my sandwich for tomorrow and immediately after I made it I walked into the living room turned on the tv and ate it.
    via Ask Reddit
  • 10
    Text - [-] KMApok5830 points 9 months ago The two that come to mind are while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from. The other one happened the other day. Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the mid
    via Ask Reddit
  • 11
    Lip - [-] Miss_Sangwitch 3158 points 9 months ago I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it.
    via Ask Reddit
  • 12
    Font - Mo (- arndta 10.4k points 9 months ago | As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the |summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?" Welcome 24 Hour Drive-Thru
    via Ask Reddit
  • 13
    Skin - 5771 points 9 months ago [-] bits_of_paper Applying deodorant on my armpit with my shirt still on
    via Ask Reddit
  • 14
    White - [-] ladybookworm 8769 points 9 months ago I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just plopped it in the toilet.
    via Ask Reddit
  • 15
    Breakfast cereal - Reeses Qusffs General The Great Taste of Chocolate Chip Cookies& Milk General Mills BOX TOP HEYS React Teaut Better Sret & Candy Car P [-] BuffyandtheHellcats 4697 points 9 months ago Last night I picked up a box of cereal to put it away. I ended up accidentally taking it with me to bed.
    via Ask Reddit

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